This pattern is repeating again and again and- you knew this was coming. There is masochism in old love songs. How could you veil this truth? Your truth, the truth you denied over and over to quell the ache. Your eyes are as blind, as vacant as they’ve always been; dark surfaces, refracting and reflecting light. You knew. Smiled and painted a rose colored canvas in your head until crisp, cold air flooded the passageways of the heart. The sanguine oranges, the rose colored strokes were white-washed away; a blanched canvas with its dying rogue hues, silently gilding off the contours of the frame. Maybe the brisk air was all it took to see the bleeding canvas before you. Wake up, smell the coffee again. It’s strong, pungent—maybe a little too acrid. Black coffee and un-filtered cigarettes. Truth. You’re exhaustible; simply a commodity to soothe the emptiness. It’s not you, just what you represent. What you can offer.

Never was you.

Go out on a limb.

I met a German speaking woman today in the bohemian coffeehouse, and we had an entire conversation in German, give or take a few phrases. Ironically enough, she was from Hamburg! My German was slanderously shoddy because of its impromptu nature, and I didn’t originally address her in the formal ‘Sie’ tense (which is technically not polite when meeting an adult, but I am so used to using Du!) Despite plenty of grammatical error on my part, finally speaking with a native after six months, was invigorating! She was very accomidating and overlooked the mistake in tense. Scraping together roughly four years of classroom German and being able to form coherent sentences; I can’t explain it! It was the highlight of my day=) Also on an odd note, apparently many German-speaking people go there; absolutely fantastic! Great coffee, or tea, or CHAI TEA, and stimulating conversation. Another amazing day, to add to an already amazing week=) Picking up FOUR rolls of film tomorrow, finishing up the Imprint; Thundercats are go!
Ich vermisse es, soviel… Ich vermisse mein Heim fort von Heim, Hamburg! Ich duerfte eine Rückkehr machen=)

“Yeah hey,there’s some cookies and milk over there in the corner.”-Nate

Amazing how such a small, fragment of generocity can change the course of an entire day. Oh, and maybe the world isn't chock-full of narcissists after all. It’s an enlightening fact. Though it may not be as glamorous, it may be full of rocks, and it may be rather uneven, this road seems best. Traverse wisely. In all honesty, Today was a fantastic day. Cheers.

Things I love and hate about Sunday October 19:
The 59 Sound, Brueggers, Tom Gabel, Charcoal, The Dead, German, Homework Homework Homework, The smell of wood-burning stoves, Head-colds, Pomegranate cravings, Acoustic AM!, Looming college applications, Cold feet, Folk Punk, Oversized comforters, Flares, Midnight Mile, Uncertainty. Uncertainty?

[Going along with my craving for pomegranates, I kind of liked this.]

Alles Getrennte findet sich wieder

Friedrich Hölderlin

Ah... Art Class, Turkish apple tea, Mike & Ikes, and side street roaming, averting the inevitable return to normalcy at home, makes losing Wednesdays a little more bearable. Despite setbacks, I finally feel in place, so to speak; I’ve got a sense of direction now. I'm happy=)

WEEKEND PART TWO: I WANT TO LEAVE...

On another note, saw Against Me! on Sunday. The first opener was God-awful, Ted leo was decent but it seemed to carry on for too long; mainly because I was anxious to see AM! play. At first I was kind of aprehensive, and I really diddnt want to hear 'Ocean,' or 'Problems.' And the result? COMPLETE SHOCK. I didn’t expect half of reinventing Axl Rose to be included on the set-list, ‘THOSE ANARCHO PUNKS’ WAS AMAZING (my favorite AM! song of all time,) nor did I expect the handful of other songs that surfaced: Sink Florida Sink, Cliché Guevara, DISCO (HUGE surprise there.) Close to the median of the entire place, almost touching the ‘tiger-barriers,’ so to speak—it was beyond fantastic. AND THEY NEVER PLAYED OCEAN.

I am in love with that band, completely besotted.

...AND GO TO COLLEGE ALREADY